MY BOOKS
Here are some stories of mine in pdf format - they're free. Download them here.
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(Click on the titles below the pictures to read the stories on this page)
There are 5 volumes of Silly Stories.
This is the blurb to Volume 1.
"Don't be silly," your teacher will have told you. When you grow up, you find the adult world is sillier than anything you could imagine as a child. These stories are silly, but sillier things happen around us all the time. Think of all those embarrassing things which we laugh at later, sometimes much much later. In this first volume, read about a man who worked as a sheep-dog who got to hear other people's text messages and other radio-waves; about the hazards of having to spend a penny very frequently; about the diary of an oak tree; and an oddball's obsession with shooting things. Then there's some nostalgic memories, a child's thoughts on bringing up parents, and a mix-up of how different generations behave. This is followed by a nation's defence against alien birds; a bit of advice about social niceties, and a man who wears his own renewable energy clothing. So, forget your troubles and immerse yourself in these stories.
This is the blurb to Volume 2.
Some people have told me that my silly stories are a tonic in these troubled times. Then why not grab yourself a bottle of gin to go with the tonic and read all about a woman who had a love affair with a dolphin; a more polite way to write public notices; Santa's comedownance; a dinner-date that went awfully wrong; the side-effects of Wendys jam-making; a chat about tea-ology; a who-didn't-do-it mystery; a visit from one world to another; filly-power; and a musical written by two people who hadn't a clue about writing a musical. By the way, you don't really need a bottle of gin...but it might help you recover afterwards.
This is the blurb to Volume 3.
Some more silly short stories with characters you will be able to empathise with, and maybe a few others. Here you can read about a football match between an English ladies' team and a French men's team; a cricket match which took place in heavy rain; the final passing-out ceremony of a dogs' obedience class and a race to win by losing it. Plus there is tuition on how to spy on people for novices; how an advertising executive saw reality in a new way; and a doctor's dilemma in being faced by a man who was well and therefore thought he must be ill. Then there is a story about a man with dementia who had a problem with his sense of humour; a dog and cat who wanted to change identities; the lowdown on a cat's life; and an experiment giving a woman a Y chromosome and a man an extra X one.
This is the blurb to Volume 4.
Yet more silly short stories for you to read to your pet goat. First there is an historical account of how Italian food became popular in America; then a little man becomes acquainted with a badger; followed by a rather earthy recollection of nursery rhyme characters. After this, there is a section on the origins of foodstuffs and a visit by a nostalgic grandfather to his futuristically-minded granddaughter. If you get a thrill when you hear a Latin phrase, the next one is for you. Or maybe you are more into vegetables. I know you know I know that. What? Find out more before you turn your attention to the conflict between the bees and the wasps. Is home always sweet home? Maybe not. But what about the so-called New Man? Does he exist? Find out.
This is the blurb toVolume 5
I hope you've enjoyed the other books. For those of you who are gluttons for punishment, here is another collection of silly short stories. This volume contains one about a man's alter ego, a mobility scooter race, a woman who comes back to haunt a man, the professional way of writing music, what happened in a supermarket carpark, a visit to Earth by some aliens, the translation of a blackbird's songs, the future of airports, the secret lives of snails, and a happy ending involving a T-shirt, shirt and vest.
Here are some new stories - I will add more as I write them. At the moment there are only two. When I get some inspiration I'll add more.
This is a silly book about gardens or rather one in particular which may be typical of all the others.
Have you ever visited a public or private garden and felt overcome by a feeling of intense peace? Or perhaps you are planning to make a visit sometime in the future? Well, perhaps you ought to read this book to discover what it is really like from the perspective of those with first-hand experience of being in gardens - the plants and the gardeners. Are the roses on good terms with each other? Is the lawn happy with his lot? Or not? Are plants happy to be in the same bed as certain other plants? What do the fruit think of the vegetables and vice versa? And what about the gardeners? Are they lovey-dovey or at each other's throats? You will find out here. Be prepared to be shocked!
Everything in the garden is nosey
This is an interactive children's book called The Amazing Adventure of Ouch, suitable for children aged roughly 4 to 11. The cover was painted by my Indian grandson, Nemo, aged 7 after he had read the book. Other children may have a different picture of what Ouch looked like.
The Amazing Adventures of Ouch
Here is another interactive children's set of short stories which is called The Canterbury Tails...of animals. I hope children will enjoy it and learn things from it.
My mother recently died. I have written an account of her life. If you have a relative or friend who is in a care home, think about doing something similar yourself, particularly if they have dementia. Include some photographs which can prompt their memory. It also enables the care workers to see the person's history because otherwise they are just another old person to take care of.
My lovely cat died last week. I adored her. This is all about her. The flowers in the final photograph are mainly grape hyacinths but there is a small patch of Forget-me-knots on the right-hand side. I dedicate this to all people who have similarly lost a pet. To hear the tune I wrote about her, click here
Here is a "poem" I wrote today (23rd May 2022) entitled "When I Die". I'm sorry, this might offend some religious people, but I felt it needed to be said.
And here is another, called Portrait about Ukraine.
The following two books are true stories which I wrote in the early 1980s when I was heavily involved in the peace movement. This first one is about my visit to Prague in 1982 when I took a soft-toy tortoise to a children's hospital there and was a delegate to the World Assembly for Peace.
This one is not about family trees in a genealogical sense, but about a visit I made to East Berlin in 1984. I took a porcelaine bowl to a church in the city before travelling by train to Dresden and then through Czechoslovakia, as it was then, to Budapest where I met members of the peace movement in Hungary.
All these stories have been published in paperback form and can be obtained from Amazon - here.